She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
