how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
