I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
