very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
my poor anus
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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