I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
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