i need an iv and a liver transplant
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize