it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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