i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
