weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
