ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
