I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
