hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
