Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
