he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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