I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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