i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
