The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Randomize