so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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