i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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