How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
