The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
