He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
