It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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