first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
