last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Randomize
