Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Hippo gnu deer
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
