he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
