just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
