we're blogging at a bar
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
