We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
