i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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