do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize