there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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