well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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