it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
