return my video game
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
