Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
