i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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