I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
nutella sex= disaster
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I wear drunk well.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
