Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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