i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
