It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize