u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Less talking, more tequila
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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