508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
