What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
