My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
organizing the empties. That sober.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
