How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
