All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
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