His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
high people should be assigned attendants
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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