She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize