Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
