): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
