She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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