do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize