...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She's the barista slut.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
