Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
