Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Do you still have your period?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
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