She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
