Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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